We are a month into the school year, and things are running pretty smoothly so far. It's a year of change and transition for everyone, and each is doing a nice job of managing the transition.

Luke is thriving in first grade, and he gets to see Grandpop pretty regularly in class thanks to Gpa's reading assignments. he got his hair cut, and likes it quite a bit because he "can hear better", since the hair has been cut away from his ears. He has joined the cub scouts...first meeting this week! He's not in the same class as his two closest friends, and thus wanted to carry around pictures of them so he didn't miss them as much. He's preparing for his first triathlon this weekend, and he's been swimming, running and riding his bike regularly. He's such a great little guy!

Claire is in 6th grade, dealing with middle school and all that goes with it. She is doing fantastic with her grades, and doesn't seem sucked into the middle school drama, just yet. She tried out for and made the volleyball team, and is no doubt one of the leaders of the club. They just played their first game against the school rival, winning in three sets...she was the point leader for the team. Claire is also doing her first tri this weekend, and is very nervous about the swim. She's been training hard and will do fantastic, because that's who she is.

Then there is Olivia. 8th grade. Queen of the Hill. It's her 10th year at St. Francis, how does the time go so fast?? She is really coming into her own as a person it seems. She has always been confident, but now she seems comfortable with who she is. And that's great, because she is a wonderful young lady. Of course she's doing well with her grades, and she's learning lessons about trust and loyalty with her friends. she has been training hard for the same triathlon, although she's doing the adult race with me. She's nervous for sure, but she'll be fine, because she's got a tough determination. I got to ride with Olivia on a training ride for about 90 minutes, and she talked about school, girls and boys in her class, Halloween parties, basketball, you name it. How much fun for me to get to listen to her sharing about her life. I sure hope that never changes.

I'm so proud of all three, how they attack their challenges and enjoy the ride. I'm so lucky to be able to share in their lives. Keep after it guys!

Goodbye to Summer 2012

Summer 2012 is over tonight. The kids are shown above, celebrating the wonderful 10 weeks with their End Of Summer Cake on "Eat Anything You Want Day" to end the summer. I find it so hard to capture all of the feelings that happen on a day to day basis when writing, even when I make regular entries. This will probably be no different.

The Bear spent much of the summer bowling with me and her brother, as she didn't do any camps this summer. She did work on her scrapbook, and she spent three weeks in the Poconos with Gma and Gpa. She seemed to miss the family more than usual when she spent her time in the mountains without us. She and her brother spent hour upon hour together this summer, playing in the house, riding bikes together, bowling (high score 147!), you name it. They are so tight. It was a good summer for her, I think she needed a break from the stress that she puts on herself regarding basketball and school. It was good time spent, just kind of hanging out, relaxing, spending time with her family, and preparing for middle school. I can't believe I just wrote that. Claire is in middle school. Wow. Anyway, I know she's nervous, but like most things, she'll knock it out of the park. As O said about Claire, borrowing from an Olympics commercial this summer "When you meet Claire, you better tighten your skates." So true. She had a wonderful time in the Poconos with Gma and Gpa. They spent almost two weeks up there with them, and for the most part, everything went well. I think Claire missed home, she never said that, but she called a lot. We of course missed her too.

The Tornado had a very busy summer, and one I think he really enjoyed. He started by taking a two week swim lesson through the city swim program. He swam laps for about an hour a day, for four weeks. He's excited about preparing for his triathlon in September, and was thrilled to learn the different strokes in class. He had so much fun, he asked to sign up again, so we gave him two more weeks of it. He might not be a lot better than he was when he started, but he's a lot more confident, and that will definitely help him in the race. He bowled a lot (high score 117!) with his sister as mentioned above, along with doing pretty much everything with her. We put up a tent in the living room and they slept in there for about a week and a half. They loved it! A little later in the summer he went to golf camp for a week. He seems to like the game of golf, and was the only guy to hit a "bomb" over the creek - nice job buddy! He spent a week in the Poconos with the rest of us, and soaked up every minute of it. Jumping off "da branch", playing horseshoes, swimming at Blakeslee trail, tubing and jumping off the rope swing into the Lehigh River, jumping off the waterfalls at Hawks Falls, riding rides at Knoebels amusement park, and just hanging in the woods behind the house - simple but great fun! A great way to end the summer.

Then there's O. What a different summer from years past. First, she just SEEMS older. He mannerisms, her actions, what she talks about, all have the feel of a real teenager, which she is! She spent two weeks as a counselor in training at Sanibel Sea School. She was the youngest counselor, so she spent much of the time hanging out with kids that are in high school and even college. She got a lot out of it though, and I think working with a lot of young kids really opened her eyes. She worked out with the high school basketball team in June as well, doing all the drills and scrimmages. She held her own pretty well too, I'm looking forward to having her in the gym permanently. She also spent two weeks in the Poconos with my parents by herself, riding horses, and doing all the other great stuff I mentioned above. She bowled a little too, not nearly as much as the other two kids. She's very excited to start 8th grade, hard to believe her years at SFX are coming to a close.

We didn't go on any unique or different trips this summer, we did spend the one week in the mountains, which was great. We watched the Olympics together quite a bit as a family. That was a lot of fun, watching young people chase their dreams and watching my kids imitate the athletes in and around the house. It was a very special summer. I got to spend a lot of time with the younger two, and some good days with O. And really, that's what makes me happiest...getting to spend time with them, have fun with them, workout with them, do work around the house with them, and play with them, that's what I love the most.

  

Dobryi Vecher

O was at a friends house tonight,Bear and the CEO putting together a scrap book, leaving the Tornado and I to hang by ourselves. He made a 3D Hulk movie for Cooper to watch, by throwing himself around the den, beating up pillows, jumping off the sofa and crushing stuffed animals. Cooper enjoyed it thoroughly.

I was updating some music, and was listening to some hair bands, and Metallica. I decided to pull up the 'Sandman' video from Russia on YouTube and listen to and watch that. The Tornado came up and watched it with me, asking where the concert was. I told him it was in Russia, and he asked if Russian people speak English. I said some do, but they have their own language. He then asked how they could understand the song, which is in English. I guessed they just know the English version of the song, but I honestly have no clue.

Then he asks what the Russian language sounds like, so I called up a teaching video on the language. He learned a couple phrases, such as the one above (Good evening). He really enjoyed learning the words, and repeating them to the CEO.

Hey, look at that, another first!

I just love his curiosity though, such a sponge.

Firsts

The girls and I at their first NBA game - Miami Heat vs Indiana Pacers, Eastern Conference Semifinals, May 2012

Yes, I've been negligent in making any "end of school" posts. The school year ended with O earning the highest academic honors at school, Bear making first honors, and the Tornado bringing home an excellent report on his development. I played in the very uncomfortable teacher vs 7th grade year end volleyball game per O's request. I actually hit the ball back several times, and was thus deemed to have "dominated" the youngsters, while simultaneously receiving grief from other teachers for taking it too easy. It was an excellent school year for all three kids, with your normal peaks and valleys, more peaks than valleys, and they all ended on a high note.

Bear's travel team ended their season on a disappointing note, losing in the state semifinals by 1 point. Bear didn't play as much as she would have liked, but overall it was a good experience for her.

But what I really wanted to touch on today was "firsts". The Tornado started his first swimming lessons this week as he prepares for his triathlon in September. The girls both knew how to swim by his age, and were swimming laps regularly. But this was his first go at it, and I sat there this morning on the pool deck in amazement. No, not at how good he is at swimming, he's probably the slowest swimmer in the class. But rather in awe of the excitement, anxiety, and joy there is in doing something for the first time.  He gets in the pool, listens to the instructions, and off he goes. I said to O as she watched too today, "he's working his tail off in there".

When he reaches the edge, he look up for approval. He looks right at me, no smile, no frown, just staring, waiting. I don't know if it's because he's my last child, or what the reason might be, but I look at him looking at me and think, how can I give him anything but a vote of confidence? No matter how slow, no matter how improper his stroke. He's killing himself in there, as Grandpop would say 'doing the best he can at that very moment', he deserves to see a thumbs up and a smile. So that's what he got. And that's what he gave right back to me.

He had to do 75 yards, non-stop, for the first time today. With flip turns...lol. I bet the girls he could do it in under 5 minutes (yes I know that's painfully long for a 75 yard swim). Darn if he didn't try to do the stinkin' flip turns, all while taking 4:44 to swim the distance. When he got out he exclaimed that was the first time he had swam that far, and that he's almost ready for the tri! These are his first swim lessons, preparing for his first tri - and he's doing everything he can to be ready. Because when you are doing something for the first time, you want to give your best. You want to excel, you want to challenge yourself. There's real fulfillment in that, it gives your spirit strength.

Last night O came to BV to practice with the high school team. She's been before, but hasn't really played in the scrimmages with us. Last night was her first scrimmage against high school kids. Did she have all the same feelings the Tornado has in his swim lessons? You bet she does. Is she excited? Is she anxious? Does she want to look good in front of her peers and her Dad? Yes, yes and yes. Unfortunately for her, as mentioned above, I treat her and her sister differently. Maybe in the long run it will be to their benefit. But I'm so much harder on them. I gave her a pretty hard time on the floor, and in the car on the way home. I did give her some praise as she improved throughout the game, but it wasn't a 50/50 praise to criticism ratio, that's for sure. I'll need to be more aware of this going forward, to give them more confidence and not be fearful of making mistakes. And maybe I need to push the Tornado a little more, or at least that's what Bear thinks.

But it's not all about firsts for the kids, and that's the real point of this post. This week is the first time I got to see my last child learn how to swim. I remember teaching O how to swim, I remember the dive sticks in the pool in Gateway and how everyday after work she would want to get in and go for them. I remember Ms. Vicki standing, arms clenched, cheering her on in her first race. I presume I'll remember this week long after it has passed too.

I remember my first high school basketball tryout (a disaster resulting in getting cut and a lonely subway ride back to Jersey). On senior night I'll remember last night, watching O struggle, and remembering her emotions.

When we all do the tri in September, I'll remember it as the first for Tornado and Bear, and the first adult race for O. I'll remember it for it being them all doing one with me.

I'm often bummed by the kids growing up so fast. I sometimes feel that since they aren't little anymore, there aren't any "new" moments to revel in. Sitting on the pool deck today I realized that's just not true. It might not be daily, but there are moments and events happening all the time that I can celebrate - I might just have to pay a little more attention! Thanks guys for giving me so many joyful moments watching you grow, and helping me grow!

Field Trip Dad

One of the great things about being a stay at home Dad is getting to attend the kids field trips. The spring always brings several opportunities to hit the road with the kids.

We took two trips with The Bear's class in April. During the first we traveled to Manatee Park, and took a war canoe ride. It's a 16 person canoe that the native Americans apparently used to ride the rivers. I was tasked to steer our canoe, and boy was that fun! One side of the boat refused to row, at least when they weren't trying to stop the canoe all together. Another Mom was repeatedly arguing with me about how to steer the canoe, and how we were falling behind the other group. Boy was that entertaining! Even the Bear was turning around to me and making faces - it was hilarious. We got back to shore and all the kids in the other boat asked me if I had fallen in the water. They confused my shirt was soaked from the river and not from sweat from rowing. No doubt the toughest field trip I've taken. But it actually was a lot of fun, and I wouldn't miss going with them for anything.

A couple weeks later we took another trip to see the movie Chimpanzee. We arrived at the theater an hour early,  and we all sat in the theater just chatting. After a little while, one of the teachers split up my group and another group to save space for the "general public". The Bear and I thought that was kind of funny, because it was 10am on a Wednesday, not a lot of people go to the movies then. The movie started, of course no other people showed up, and we settled in. It was a fantastic movie about a young chimp trying to find his way in his family. Of course I thought about my kids, and Bear in particular, who always seems to have the hardest time doing just that. A line in the movie says "Independence happens one step at a time", and when I thought about it, I thought Bear tries to get there with big leaps.

This is the last year they really go on field trips, so I'm glad I've been able to attend so many with her over the years. She is gaining her independence, and it's been a joy to be there watching Bear as she has taken those steps.

Being a Kid

I was driving O to school the other day and she told me a story. "Hey Dad" she started, "doesn't this sound fun?" She then went on to tell me that her and two friends, a few months ago, decided to hold a contest during language arts class, which is an hour an twenty minutes long. The contest was to see who could hold their feet off the ground the longest during class. O said as the class wore on, she was the only one still holding her feet up, so the other two girls told her they would sharpen her pencil if needed, or go up and get her extra paper for her so she could make it to the end of class. She said when the bell rang and she had made it to the end, the three of them were so excited.

I told her that did sound like a lot of fun, because it's exactly the kind of thing I would do, even today!

Motivation

I haven't experienced a lot of new things specific to my role as the stay at home parent lately, or at least it seems that way. But as the kids have gotten a little older, I'm now learning on the job again.

The Tornado is playing baseball, and as you can tell by the picture, his focus is sporadic. That's fine, he's 6, and maybe baseball isn't his thing, who knows, maybe it is, just not yet. I just want him to have fun.

The girls are a little older, and seem to enjoy playing basketball. O is a worker, she'll do what you tell her. But, she always leaves something in the tank. She never really goes full throttle, for whatever reason.Don't know if she's scared of getting hurt, or if it's something else. But she holds herself back - and it seems like that's true in other areas of her life. She has great enthusiasm for things, but almost sabotages herself at times. How do you get someone to go to the wall every time she competes in something?

The Bear is totally different. Her intensity and level of determination, I can't imagine many 10/11 years olds equalling her in this regard. Or people of any age for that matter. When she puts her mind to something, she is singularly focused, and almost always reaches her goal. But, like me, if she can't see the goal, she just can't get the engines going at all. So how do show her the it's the little steps along the way that gets you to the top of the mountain? Is she too young to be able to see that? Is she not as interested as she says she is in this particular mountain?

At the moment, I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I don't know where the line of pushing versus letting them go their own way is. I said to the CEO tonight, it seems like I've been trying to straddle that line - and that they right way to do it is to be on one side of the line or the other. Either drive them to greatness, and hope it works out, or let them get there themselves. After thinking and talking it through in my mind, I guess I'm leaning towards letting them get there themselves.

I went to bed last night and while thinking, realized something that is at the heart of what's bothering me about this I think. When the girls were younger, like the Tornado still is, they always asked me questions. How to do this, what does that mean, where is such and such. O still looks for advice, she still seeks approval. But the Bear really doesn't, at least not vocally. She wants me to watch every move she makes, but she's just so independent. She's always been that way, but her youth still required her to ask for input. Now that she's almost 11, she seems to have decided she needs my input less. That's very hard for me. She wants me to be interested, but not contribute, or at least that's how it feels, and that's difficult and confusing, seeing how I've been there contributing for so many years. I want her to be strong and independent, that will obviously serve her well as she gets older. But I still want her to need her Dad. It's scary thinking that she's already getting to the point where she thinks she doesn't.

I guess I'll keep learning how to deal with these things as we go.