Firsts

The girls and I at their first NBA game - Miami Heat vs Indiana Pacers, Eastern Conference Semifinals, May 2012

Yes, I've been negligent in making any "end of school" posts. The school year ended with O earning the highest academic honors at school, Bear making first honors, and the Tornado bringing home an excellent report on his development. I played in the very uncomfortable teacher vs 7th grade year end volleyball game per O's request. I actually hit the ball back several times, and was thus deemed to have "dominated" the youngsters, while simultaneously receiving grief from other teachers for taking it too easy. It was an excellent school year for all three kids, with your normal peaks and valleys, more peaks than valleys, and they all ended on a high note.

Bear's travel team ended their season on a disappointing note, losing in the state semifinals by 1 point. Bear didn't play as much as she would have liked, but overall it was a good experience for her.

But what I really wanted to touch on today was "firsts". The Tornado started his first swimming lessons this week as he prepares for his triathlon in September. The girls both knew how to swim by his age, and were swimming laps regularly. But this was his first go at it, and I sat there this morning on the pool deck in amazement. No, not at how good he is at swimming, he's probably the slowest swimmer in the class. But rather in awe of the excitement, anxiety, and joy there is in doing something for the first time.  He gets in the pool, listens to the instructions, and off he goes. I said to O as she watched too today, "he's working his tail off in there".

When he reaches the edge, he look up for approval. He looks right at me, no smile, no frown, just staring, waiting. I don't know if it's because he's my last child, or what the reason might be, but I look at him looking at me and think, how can I give him anything but a vote of confidence? No matter how slow, no matter how improper his stroke. He's killing himself in there, as Grandpop would say 'doing the best he can at that very moment', he deserves to see a thumbs up and a smile. So that's what he got. And that's what he gave right back to me.

He had to do 75 yards, non-stop, for the first time today. With flip turns...lol. I bet the girls he could do it in under 5 minutes (yes I know that's painfully long for a 75 yard swim). Darn if he didn't try to do the stinkin' flip turns, all while taking 4:44 to swim the distance. When he got out he exclaimed that was the first time he had swam that far, and that he's almost ready for the tri! These are his first swim lessons, preparing for his first tri - and he's doing everything he can to be ready. Because when you are doing something for the first time, you want to give your best. You want to excel, you want to challenge yourself. There's real fulfillment in that, it gives your spirit strength.

Last night O came to BV to practice with the high school team. She's been before, but hasn't really played in the scrimmages with us. Last night was her first scrimmage against high school kids. Did she have all the same feelings the Tornado has in his swim lessons? You bet she does. Is she excited? Is she anxious? Does she want to look good in front of her peers and her Dad? Yes, yes and yes. Unfortunately for her, as mentioned above, I treat her and her sister differently. Maybe in the long run it will be to their benefit. But I'm so much harder on them. I gave her a pretty hard time on the floor, and in the car on the way home. I did give her some praise as she improved throughout the game, but it wasn't a 50/50 praise to criticism ratio, that's for sure. I'll need to be more aware of this going forward, to give them more confidence and not be fearful of making mistakes. And maybe I need to push the Tornado a little more, or at least that's what Bear thinks.

But it's not all about firsts for the kids, and that's the real point of this post. This week is the first time I got to see my last child learn how to swim. I remember teaching O how to swim, I remember the dive sticks in the pool in Gateway and how everyday after work she would want to get in and go for them. I remember Ms. Vicki standing, arms clenched, cheering her on in her first race. I presume I'll remember this week long after it has passed too.

I remember my first high school basketball tryout (a disaster resulting in getting cut and a lonely subway ride back to Jersey). On senior night I'll remember last night, watching O struggle, and remembering her emotions.

When we all do the tri in September, I'll remember it as the first for Tornado and Bear, and the first adult race for O. I'll remember it for it being them all doing one with me.

I'm often bummed by the kids growing up so fast. I sometimes feel that since they aren't little anymore, there aren't any "new" moments to revel in. Sitting on the pool deck today I realized that's just not true. It might not be daily, but there are moments and events happening all the time that I can celebrate - I might just have to pay a little more attention! Thanks guys for giving me so many joyful moments watching you grow, and helping me grow!