This school year has thrown me for a little bit of a loop. I've already detailed the Tornado's bumpy road these first few weeks. Big O has had her own struggles, from time management, to the volleyball thing, to some lower grades than she is used to. The Bear seems to be doing well, but everyday is an adventure with her.
The CEO is going through a lot of changes at her work too, and that of course creates a little stress for her.
Things at the homestead have been rough too, as we need this fixed, and that replaced. With this feeling of getting nicked from every side and every turn, I have felt a little overwhelmed. I've been so consumed with the kids that I think I've lost my focus on what the CEO and I want down the road. I don't mean that in a bad way, focusing on the kids, because I love them and love spending time with them. Now that they are all in school, it just kind of struck me that down the road, they will all be out on their own. And because of that, I need to keep one eye on my dreams, and the dreams of the CEO.
The picture is a shot from a ranch in Colorado. Is that where we are going to end up? Who knows, although it almost certainly won't be this exact spot. After our trip this summer though, I do know I want to spend time out in this area as we get older. There is a sense of freedom being out there. Being able to see so far, and only seeing the land and some wildlife, just gives me a peaceful feeling.
Also, planning and dreaming has always been a large part of what makes me happy. It might be planning for a vacation, planning a training schedule for a marathon, or planning for buying a house or land. It gives me motivation and drive, and that gives me purpose.
So I'll go back to trying to figure stuff out for me and the CEO. That won't take anything away from the kids, I'll still have a large focus on them, but I'll keep an eye on me too.
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