ANYTOWN USA

We woke up early on Wednesday and hit the road to Minneapolis. It was supposedly an 8 hour drive, so we had a full day of driving ahead of us. Little did we know of the wonderful treat that was waiting for us at about the halfway point.

After about 3 hours of driving, the CEO spurts out "Hey, the Bridges of Madison County are at the next exit!" Of course we decided to stop and see what it was all about.

This picture is the oldest of the bridges, and is right off the exit. We all got out and walked around, reading about the bridges, and just enjoying the quiet in this tiny spot. A sign indicating where the visitors center was pointed us to our next stop. The tiny church which now acts as the visitors center held a bunch of little trinkets and info on the bridges. The CEO talked to the man who was running the center and he told us about Winterset, which was about "5 miles" dwon the road. He told us about several bridges that were there, a hedge maze and a tower in a park that he though we would like to visit.

The gang hopped back in the car and pointed towards Winterset. About 15 miles later we started to pull into Winterset. The first thing we saw was John Wayne's birthplace. A tiny little house on the corner of a little street off the main drive with a statue outside. We took a couple pictures for Opa and continued into town. After a little driving around we found the park. The kids really enjoyed the hedge maze as they did it over and over. Next we got back in the car and drove down the dirt and gravel road to find the tower. It was an old stone tower, and was pretty cool. The kids went to the top, you could see for miles, and they pretended they were knights and royal figures. We hung out for an hour and headed back to "downtown" for lunch.

Winterset might as well be called Anytown USA, because it is exactly what you think of when you imagine a small, middle America town. Or at least it is for me. Basically the town consists of the courthouse in the center of a square, with stores and offices, all two stories at the most, surrounding the courthouse. The restaurant that was in the movie The Bridges of Madison county is on the square, although we didn't eat there. There was no traffic, no trouble parking, and the few people that were walking around had nice smiles on their faces. I went into the drug store, I couldn't believe it when I saw a little counter where they were serving dessert. Did I get lost and end up in Mayberry?? The lady at the counter was teasing a customer she knew about the black eye he had, how great is that!!

Everyone piled back into the car and off we went having had enjoyed a great slice of Americana. As we have moved west on the trip, things have gotten more tranquil, more relaxing, and I've felt more and more together with the family. When you take away all the other stuff in life that distracts from being together, you really can enjoy the people you love. And I'm really enjoying the trip.

A SATURDAY AFTERNOON

The CEO is out of town, leaving me at home with the three little rascals. I had a CPR class to go to in the AM, so they spent the morning at a friends house. We got home and had some lunch, and with my back really bothering me, I laid down on the couch and the kids watched a movie.

I had told them that after a little rest we would be planting a bunch of flowers as a surprise for Mommy. They were a little grumpy about the idea, but said OK, they would help when it was time.

We went outside at about 4:30, and began digging. The weather was great, and they were enthusiastic about helping. Sometimes they start that way, but finish a little less enthusiastic. Not today though. They were digging, they were planting, they were carrying, you name it they were doing it. We were joking with each other, telling stories (mostly them and me listening), the Tornado was drumming on the empty flower pots on the porch. It was delightful.

About 3 hours later, as the sun was setting on the river, the Tornado and I got the hose out and sprayed some water on the flowers. The girls were cleaning up, putting the shovels and gloves away. We all kind of stood there, admiring the work, and I told them for the next 7 months as they are playing outside they can watch the flowers grown and admire all the hard work they put into planting them and helping them grow.

Kind of like me watching them...

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

Goals are good. Goals help motivate you and help you stay focused. Goals can be the journey that lead you to the destination. Goals shape the process for success.

Expectations are not good. Expectations are a distraction from hard work. Expectations weigh you down, put undue pressure on the outcome, which you may not be able to control. Expectations focus on the results only, and lose sight of the journey that help you get to the desired results. Expectations can sap the joy from the daily pursuit of success or happiness.

The Rays were picked to be one of the top teams in baseball this year, and the players and fans all "expected" a World Series appearance, if not the title too. There has been tension the last few weeks of the season, the players were showing it, the fans were feeling it. As the playoffs started last week, it was nothing like the 2008 season. That was a joyous romp, let's just work hard and see where we end up. This felt like duty, like a failure if we didn't get to the finish line. Well, 5 games and 2 Cliff Lees later, the Rays are done. Many fans took to booing a couple players last night at the game, because "expectations" were going to go unfulfilled. The manager didn't pull all the right strings, the hitting coach was a bad teacher, the pitching coach lost his touch with a couple of the pitchers, some of the players underperformed, etc etc etc. I could see the stress, heck HEAR the stress in O's voice as the 9th inning came and went. Part was disappointment, part was knowing she would hear it from her Yankee friends at school. Many fans left in the 9th inning because the result wasn't to their liking.

I was hoping the players would come back out and allow for us to cheer for them for all the good times they gave us this summer. And there were some great times! The walk off win on opening night against the Orioles, the grand slam by Bartlett in the 8th inning to tie the afternoon game against the Twins, some great defense in almost every game, many great pitching outings from Price, Soriano and dominating and being quirky, DJ Rally Kitty, Cotton Eyed Joe, the team scoring 9 runs on the Bear's 9th birthday, and winning in the 10th when we went to see them in Minnesota. Taking friends to the game, enjoying the concerts like John Fogerty, Train, Bret Michaels and the Village People. Running the bases, dancing on the field, playing home run derby. It was a great season. Mostly it was great because we did it together as a family. I'll remember this summer fondly because of the baseball trip we took, and the trips to the Trop to see the Rays play. I think the family will remember it forever too. The Tornado keeps reminding me of things we did at the different parks, like riding the frog on the Merry-Go-Round in KC. The goal of having fun with the family and creating lasting memories was achieved!

I've been guilty of foisting expectations on the kids this school year, and this baseball season is a reminder that doing so is a mistake on my part, and unfair to them. They should have goals to work hard in class every day, to behave, be good friends, and Be Like Christ. They should not be "expected" to get a certain grade on every test, quiz or homework. They should not be "expected" to do the right thing all day every day. That is most certainly and obviously going to lead to disappointment and frustration for everyone, and probably resentment towards me.

They have all had their growing pains this year in school, and I've been too focused on the outcomes I'm afraid, and not focused enough on helping with the process. I don't want them weighed down by the pressure of expectations from me or from themselves. Rather, I want them to flourish with the knowledge that they are doing things the right way, and that in doing so they will give themselves the best chance to achieve the goals they have for themselves. Yes I know they are only 11, 9 and 5, and maybe they don't have explicit goals they are shooting for. As a kid their only real goal is to be happy, and it's my job to help them figure out how to be that way.

So, thanks to the Rays for another great season. Thanks to baseball for reminding me of another life lesson. Sorry to O, Bear and Tornado for putting unnecessary expectations on you. I promise to try to do better in the future, allowing you to enjoy the journey of being little kids, even if that journey leads to a detour on occasion. Sometimes detours unveil a different and better path to our goals!

KANSAS CITY KIDS

When we left St. Louis, about an hour out of the city, it seemed like we entered a different world. There was corn lining both sides of the highway, and as far as you could see. CORN! EVERYWHERE! But it wasn't just the corn, and the lack of cars filling the interstate, there was a sense of a slower pace of life. You could see it in the way people were driving, the bumper stickers on the car, the interactions at the fast food joints and gas stations. And it was all really pleasant.

We got into Kansas City around 4pm, checked into the hotel (it wasn't our favorite of the trip), then headed to the field. Kauffman Field is the home of the Royals, and it isn't a new stadium. But from the moment we walked into the stadium, it immediately became one of my favorites. We were there early and got the really nice t-shirts we are wearing in the picture. The place wasn't going to be full, the Royals stink now (think they will be pretty decent in 2012), and it was a Tuesday night against the White Sox.

They had an awesome area for kids, including a "Little K" field where the kids could hit, run the bases and catch. The Tornado hit some pitches on the field, rode the merry go round, and did a couple other things. Then we headed in towards the seats, and tried unsuccessfully to get a batting practice ball. The Tornado enjoyed running back and forth in front of their wonderful fountains while the girls called the players looking for a ball.

Batting practice ended, we headed up to our seats behind home in the upper deck. We grabbed some barbeque for dinner, good but not as good as I was hoping to get at the real Arthur Bryants, and took our seats. The game was good, the Royals lost 4-3, and although the park wasn't full, the fans were really into it!

As the sun went down, I sat and watched the game, with the fun crowned scoreboard in front of me, I just really felt peaceful. I could see the sun setting, a slow but steady stream of cars driving by on the other side of a small field outside the ballpark, the Tornado drifting into sleep, and my three lovely ladies all sitting with me. The night was warm, but comfy, it was everything you could ask for on a summer night.

The game ended, and we left for the hotel. Everyone was just about asleep before we even got there, so it was a quick lights out once we were inside. I laid in bed and reflected on the day. 16 hours earlier we were in downtown St. Louis, spent 3 hours at the zoo, drove for 4 hours across Missouri, then spent 5 hours at the ballgame. I was amazed at how good the kids were in the car, at the zoo, and at the game with each other. Despite being tired, I think they sensed the relaxed atmosphere that I was feeling too. I've often wondered how or why people would live in a place like Kansas City. You aren't near the beach, you aren't near the mountains. You don't typically think of it as a high earning area, nor is it a growth spot. It's not a cultural hot spot, and it's not full of tourist attractions. So why live here, move here, stay here? Because it's a nice place, with nice people. It's a simple place, in a good way. We will see you again soon KC.

The First Phone Number

When the Big O was in first grade, she came home one day and said she "liked" a boy named Donovan. A year later she played on a basketball team with him, I was the coach, and she still liked him. I got to know him a little more, I knew him from working in the school at lunch. He's a nice boy, always uses his manners around me. Anyway, O told Donovan that she liked him, of course he got nervous, and they stopped playing on the playground and in PE together. Over the last couple years she's "liked" other boys, and that usually lasts a couple weeks.

So here we are, 4 years later, and she told me one day that she likes Donovan again. She had told the CEO first, and was nervous to tell me, but finally got around to it. The other night I was downstairs on the coach, and the CEO came down and told me O wanted to talk. I went back up, and she was crying. She asked if I thought she was a "girly-girl". After finding out what she meant by that, I told her that she isn't a girly girl, she's tough when she needs to be, feminine when she needs to be. I told her she's just like the CEO in that regard. I went back downstairs, and the CEO thought O had told me the news, that she asked Donovan for his phone number.

Two days went by, O never told me that she had the phone number. An opportunity came up, and I asked if she called Donovan. She blushed, said no, and we talked about her having the phone number. We talked about not over doing it, trying to play it cool and just enjoying being his friend. I also told her that I hope she feels comfortable talking to me about things like this, even though I'm a guy. She just kind of smiled, nodded and went back to shooting.

O and I have always been close, I've always felt like she could talk to me, and I think she feels the same. She likes me to tuck her in every night, and I like doing that too. But lately, she seems to be going to the CEO more often with sensitive material. I understand it, it makes sense. Obviously Kristin can relate to her better, and the things that she's going through. But I don't want to be there only for the superfluous conversations, I want to be there for the tough questions too, at least some of them :)

She lost her last tooth two nights ago as well. What a difference between the reaction from her and us from losing the first one and the last one. Instead of jumping up and down, getting excited about losing it, the anticipation of the Tooth Fairy arriving with a gift, she basically handed the tooth to the CEO and went to bed. No notes to the Tooth Fairy either.

It's tough having a child going through all these changes, being so "grown up". I have to keep remind myself that I'm not losing her, or if I'm losing her as a little child, I'm getting a more mature child who I can go through new trials, tribulations and triumphs with. I want her to know that I'll always be there for her when she needs me, that I'll be her biggest fan.